Heavy Heart
- Sana Elisiario
- May 3, 2017
- 2 min read
Although this website/blog was created with the intention of keeping my work and practice up to date with the online world, I honestly cannot even think about art or work or anything else on this tragic day, I learnt that a very valuable friend took his own life due to depression and drugs. Mitchell Elliott, best known as Mousey, was a person who scooped me up at one of the lowest points in my life, when my family threw me away and went to live in a hostel with no familiarities of anything i knew. He was my strength in his own weird way.
I cannot even fathom the energy to put all our pictures up as I am riddled with guilt for not speaking to him for 4 years, after we fell out over something so superficial, we had minimum contact passing by in the streets, but I never got the chance to thank him for how much he helped shape me into an independent person. It's so difficult to accept that somebody who made such an impact in your life, is no longer here, and you can never see them or speak to them again, I just... I'm not even sure how I'm coping to be honest, I couldn't give any less of a shit about my work right now, and after everybody contacting me from Leicester, it's really eating me alive to chose between my degree deadline and my friend's funeral, what kind of shit it this?
I want to honour this post to Mousey and his little baby boy Joshua, who will carry on the legacy and keep him forever alive in our hearts. I hope to arrange a reunion between all the people who I lived with in the hostel that knew him and honour his life for the big personality that he was, his favourite song was Uncle Kracker, Follow me, which we used to serenade to each other on Triangle Park, drinking cheap cider and dancing on the table.. The days when nobody cared about us, we meant everything to each other through friendship and support, my dirty dancing partner, my fish and chips lover, my one true friend who never gave up, what I wouldn't do to hug you one last time and be with you again... I need to stop, I'm actually not used to handling this, I'm not really sure how I'm coping to be honest so forgive me if I don't post anything for a while..
Lets hope I don't fail my degree, since life just keeps coming at me with new shit, I may be hit by a car with my current wave of luck, maybe then I wont have to go unto Uni and face any sort of contact with humanity.
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